Spot the ball - Wainwright and friendsPress Release:
Having undergone corrective knee surgery Wainwright is vertical once more. Such injuries are unfortunately quite common among footballers and, as has been the case with both Ian Ashbee and Jimmy Bullard of Hull City, reconstructive surgery can require specialist attention only available in the United States. But due to pioneering surgery developed in this country, and the application of some very strong glue, Wainwright has been spared the lengthy trip to the USA and the operation was carried out successfully on a bench in Middle Aged Gapper's garage.
Although groggy from the effects of sniffing glue, Wainwright was able to offer these words of reassurance to his many fans:
'It's great to be back on my feet again. Although to be honest, my main concern was for my ball. I've only got the one and I was concerned I was going to lose it. I am very attached to it and to see it separated from the rest of me was very distressing. I will now be taking a short recuperative break in preparation for my forthcoming tour of East Africa'.
Never seen in public without it, Wainwright is famous for having just one ball, a condition he allegedly shares with historical and contemporary public figures including Adolf Hitler, Jonathan Ross and the former Home Secretary, Jackie Smith.
Wainwright is expected to travel to Skipton, North Yorkshire on Sunday where he will spend a quiet day cruising on a canal boat courtesy of some generous friends. He will then travel to the Lake District to complete his recuperation and test his equipment for a rigorous tour of East Africa which commences on 4th September.
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