Wainwright gets wrecked

I am afraid that I must impart some sad news about my travelling companion, Wainwright.

As you can tell from the above photo's Wainwright thoroughly enjoyed himself in Turkey and proved to be very popular among my fellow travellers. In the end though it all proved a bit much for the wee fellow and he now lies in a critical condition in the garage.

What happened is not yet clear. It appears to be a combination of factors. Firstly, on the final day of the holiday I caught him in the midst of a clinch with the two very attractive ladies you see above. This had an effect on both Wainwright and myself. With me it was a severe case of jealousy, but I'm getting used to being in Wainwright's small but significant shadow and I'll get over it. For Wainwright the effect was more severe and it appears he went weak at the knees - literally.

Later that day the group enjoyed it's final meal together. I'm not sure what got into Wainwright but he got carried away with the party atmosphere and got legless.

Thus it is that Wainwright is a broken gnome in need of surgery. He may be resting in pieces but I am hopeful that a full recovery can be made.

Whilst certain dubious elements of the media were on hand to record Wainwright's tragic condition and gleefully photographed him in severe distress I could not bring myself to record the event and I'm sure you would not wish to revel in seeing the pitiful sight of his tiny legs and feet so far from the rest of his body.

His operation is scheduled for tomorrow, Thursday. A further bulletin on Wainwright's condition will be posted once he comes out of the garage and is given a full examination.

Thank you.