Thursday 24 December 2009

The Ghost of Christmas Past



Youngest son and I were up before dawn today in an effort to avoid the crowds in Marks and Spencer and Tesco. Our foraging was successful and there are just a couple of things on my to do list before I pour a Crabbies ginger beer with ice and lemon and brace myself for crimbo.

Generally I am a grumpy when it comes to Christmas and would fit in nicely on one of those Grumpy Old Men shows. Why do we feel compelled to waste so much money on cards? For me that is just a pointless exercise that only serves to tell you just how high the sender rates you. The crapper the card, the less they think of you. And now it's even more complex. No longer can you just bung stamps on your cards and chuck them in the nearest post box. This year I had to queue at my local post office to have all my cards tested for width, breadth and depth to see if they were in fact a 'large letter'! For goodness sake, if cards are so bloody important why not just buy a box and stick them up somewhere, saving time and effort and cutting out the middle man. Use the same ones over and over. That's before we even start on decorations, too much food, too much booze, the search for presents. Arrgghh!

As a single parent I have always found the whole thing to be a stressful nightmare. I'm a man and men are just pants at Christmas. We're only good for putting up too many lights, carving the turkey and sorting out the booze. All of which we do badly. In my experience it is always women who make Christmas special.

In recent years crimbo for me has been about having a week or two off work at a time when my last summer holiday is a distant memory and the next one is many months away. Of course all of that has changed this year. Every day is Christmas if I want it to be.

I think the hardest part of Christmas is trying to capture the elusive spirit of Christmas past. That indefinable something that once made the event magical. And the only way I can see to do this is to become a child again.

That's why I have persuaded my two sons to buy me something totally nerdy this Christmas. Something that would have thrilled the 12 year old me. A 1:24 scale Airfix Spitfire. I hope they got the one that comes complete with the small motor to make the prop spin. I can't wait to open the box and look longingly at all those parts that will transform in my brilliant model. I'll go straight for the wings so I can get an idea of just how big the finished plane is going to be. Ooo, the excitement.

I suspect I am not the only man of my age to have asked for one of yesteryear's toys for Christmas. The wonderful series of TV programmes by James May have evoked so much nostalgia and enabled a whole generation of men to come out of the closet and get in touch with their adolescent selves. I can't wait for his final programme on train sets.

I am so looking forward to spreading out my aircraft parts all over the dining table on Boxing Day and to getting lost once more in the comforting and slightly nauseating fug of polystyrene cement. All I need to make my Christmas complete is a Hai Karate or Brut 33 gift set.

Live long and prosper and have a peaceful and fulfilling holiday.

1 comment:

  1. My goodness so many memories of Airfix (Revell were rubbish)and when you mentioned Hai Karate - well - I was one of those that used it and phew - was it powerful stuff! I admit I used to like Brut too, does it make me a bad person?

    Hope you have had a rewarding break with your kids.

    Kind regards, RLS

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