Maasai Mara

Was that it?
Yeah baby!

Only 345 more times and I can watch Match of the Day.

Travelling by road in Africa is always an interesting experience. Our journey would eventually total more than 2,500 km and none of this was on anything remotely resembling a motorway or even a decent bit of dual carriageway.

The road from Lake Naivasha to our camp, just outside the Maasai Mara game reserve, was a typical one. We made it back to the main road and headed south west. Generally the road was in good repair and had more than one lane to allow overtaking. But once off the main thoroughfare there is a dramatic change. The roads become pot-holed and our vehicles had to weave right and left to avoid the worst of them. Eventually, the road turns to dirt and the ride becomes very bumpy.

Travelling through villages and even towns it is noticeable that all the side streets consist of the dark red, impacted soil of Africa. It is like travelling back through time to the American frontier or medieval England.

Gaily painted shops front the main road but behind these there is always a hotch potch of shelters that are home to someone. Everywhere you look there are the ubiquitous yellow jerry cans that people use to transport the life blood of Africa - water. People, often children, can be seen carrying the jerry cans everywhere and for me it is a sobering reminder that despite my shower not being hot at least I had running water, which is more than the vast majority of people we pass on our journey enjoy.

As we get nearer to our destination another iconic African image becomes more and more frequent - the tall, slender Maasai tribes people, distinctive in their bright red cloaks while they tend their goats and cows.

I did consider buying a Maasai cloak but decided I would look even odder than usual when I shop in Tesco's.

Our camp site turns out to be a joy. It has all the essentials - a well stocked bar, huge, walk-in tents, decent meals cooked by Leo, very nice toilets and hot showers.

We arrive in time to dump our kit and set out for our first game drive in the mini-buses. We travel the short distance to the gate to the Maasai Mara and away we go.

Many moons ago I studied A level Economics and I can still recall the law diminishing marginal returns, which basically says that the more you get of something, the less you want of it. This is true of game viewing.

We had only gone a few hundred yards into the reserve when someone spotted a lone Thompson's Gazelle, about a 100 yards away and wanted to stop for a photo. Wisely, our driver ignored the plea, knowing full well that before long we'll be sick of the sight of the bloody things. Now, if a roe deer wandered into my garden I'd be reaching for my camera straight away. But when you've seen your hundredth 'Tommie', the novelty wears a bit thin. The same becomes true of the impala, wildebeest, zebra and even the giraffe. This was the migration season, when the wildebeest and zebra move north from the Serengeti, across the Mara river and into the Maasai Mara, so we saw thousands of the devils.

But one thing no one tires of seeing are the big cats. Our first sighting though brought home one of the problems of game viewing on the Mara - traffic jams.

The Maasai Mara is alive with tour groups just like ours. Whilst this is annoying it can also be useful as so many eyes soon home in on the game. Whenever two or more buses are gathered together there is the huge urge to find out what they're looking at.

Our first lion was sighted by another of our group in one of the other buses. The lioness was well hidden in bushes so it was a good find. But by the time our bus reached the scene there was a mad scramble for position among the bus drivers and all we could see was glimpses of lion through the bushes. It was disappointing at the time, but lion are plentiful here and during our stay in the area we must have seen about 20.

My favourite sighting was on our final morning on the Mara when our bus spotted a lone female. Selfishly we didn't tell any of the others (the buses have radios so the drivers can communicate) about 'our ' lion and the 5 of us in the bus felt a strong sense of ownership of her. In the early morning light she was a beautiful sight as she strolled casually out of the sun-dried grass and sauntered past the bus.

Shortly after this tender moment we saw 3 mini-buses grouped together. A sure sign that they had found another cat.

One thing that amazes me about lions is how well camouflaged they are. Several times I arrived at a sighting and started taking pictures of a lion only for someone to shout: 'There's another one!'. And there, only a few feet away would be another lion, and then another. I'd not even noticed them.

And thus it was when we drew up to the other three buses. We saw a male lion dozing in the grass almost immediately. Then there were two more - a male and a female a little further away. And then another male was seen.

The female was lying on her back, legs in the air. The big male beside her was looking a bit sleepy. We were looking at 4 somnambulant lions and understandably one of the mini buses left. There's only so many pictures you can take of a sleeping lion after all.

But our driver was a wise man. He explained that the male and female together were a mating pair and that typically a male has to mate with a female 360 times to ensure he gets her pregnant. If my calculations are correct, that's about a pint of jizz. No wonder he looked so knackered and she had to keep her legs in the air.

Of course, there was no way of knowing how far into the 360 times they were, but our driver was confident that if we stuck around our patience would be rewarded. He also drove into the vacated parking spot to give us the prime view.

Sure enough, a few minutes later the male shook himself awake and began to rise. Dutifully, the lioness crouched before the king of beasts. She didn't stand up, but then again who would in that situation. The male mounted her and bit into her neck before giving a low, rumbling roar to express his satisfaction. The female answered with a snarl of her own that seemed to say: 'Was that it?'

Not for the first time, I felt that I was in the middle of a TV documentary or Big Cat Week.

That was one of the 'Big 5' ticked off the list. In case you're not aware, the Big 5 is the name given by the white hunters to those animals considered to be the most dangerous to hunt and kill. The 5 are: lion, leopard, black rhino, water buffalo and hippo. Believe it or not, these guys are all real killers.

Our sighting of the other cat on the list was nothing like our lion sightings and turned out to be very distressing.

It came on the afternoon of our second day. Camping close to the Mara meant that we were among the fist to arrive when the gates opened. By mid afternoon the place is alive with mini-buses and 4 wheel drives.

On this particular afternoon there must have been close to 20 vehicles clustered around some trees and bushes. Naturally, we urged our driver to join them. With so many vehicles present it was hard to get a view of anything but eventually word filtered through that there was a leopard in the tree in front of us. From where we were I could only see a distinctive tail hanging down from the foliage.

Our driver then turned around very quickly and headed away from the tree. I assumed he was taking us to the opposite side for a better look.

The Maasai Mara is criss-crossed by numerous tracks and it turns out that the drivers are not supposed to go off-road. Being caught doing so results in a hefty fine. Of course the drivers totally ignore this rule so they can get their clients the best viewings and boost their tips. Ours wasn't then only bus to suddenly head away from the leopard sighting, it was like a cavalry charge. The reason became apparent - coming towards the clump of off-road vehicles was a distinctive blue Land Rover - the game ranger.

I don't think a tail counts as sighting one of the Big 5, but when I found out the full story behind what was going on there I was glad we never witnessed the horror of it.

The leopard we saw was a female. As she crouched in the tree she could see a lone male lion on the other side of bushes, away from our view. The lion was eating the leopard's cub.

In the Maasai Mara we witnessed the full circle of life - life being created and life being taken. Suddenly I wasn't in a TV documentary because they very carefully shield the reality of Nature from our fragile, sentimental human feelings. But lions are never sentimental.