Ouch!

10 days to go! Only 10 days until my last day in a collar and tie, sat at a desk.

As my big day looms I have tried to find some other event in life to compare it to. The nearest I can get is my wedding day - the focus is so much on the day itself that what stretches beyond that day is not given much thought.

But this week I have begun to realise that my big day is just a portal to a whole new life. And with that realisation has come a feeling of excitement and of change.

Yesterday I visited a photographer to have my portrait taken. This was only the second time in my life that I have had a formal photo taken. The first was nearly 30 years ago when I began my current employment. I thought it would be interesting to have another photo or two taken to place alongside the younger me.

As requested I took along a few changes of clothes and these included a pair of trousers that I bought exactly a year ago. I haven't worn them since last summer and when I put them on at the studio I made the alarming discovery that they were too big in the waist by a whole 6 inches! I looked like I was wearing a clown's costume.

Once home I was prompted by my discovery to do two things. Firstly, I went through my wardrobe and promptly threw away half of my clothes. Most of them were a good 8 to 10 years old and suddenly seemed hideous. Secondly, I arranged to have three pairs of trousers taken in.

I am planning a trip to York at the weekend to buy new clothes, something I rarely do but which I am looking forward to. New clothes are symbolic of a new me.

And that's how I feel - new, or at least re-cycled. I do hope I keep the weight off though or I'll have now't to wear.

The other thing I did yesterday was to phone the hotel I am staying at in Montecatini, Italy at the end of next week. I wanted to confirm that my booking was still ok and get directions from the airport at Pisa.

Once I got off the phone the realisation dawned on me - I'm going to Italy next week. The big adventure is about to begin. Wow!

To add to the cycle of change I am going through I did something today that I have been promising myself for a long time and which I think is quite daring - for me at least.

Around my neck and usually hidden from view I wear a very nice Ying and Yang symbol. Years ago I used to wear a crucifix but Ying and Yang more accurately descibes the beliefs that I have - that all life is about balance and this is the nature of all things. Light and dark, positive and negative, good and bad, it all balances out in the end.

I like this simple symbol so much that I envisioned it tattoed on to my upper arm. But I promised myself that I would only get such a tattoo when I was in better shape physically. Well, I reckon I am and today, after a visit to the optician I then popped around the corner to a very modern tattoo parlour. Half an hour later and I walked out with a very raw upper arm and my first tattoo. How cool is that?

I imagine that at 50 years old I am somewhat older than most of the shop's customers and that some people may think I am either mad or stupid. But sod it, I love my tattoo (even if it is a bit red and sore at the moment) and I love the freedom it symbolises.

Slowly but surely a big box is being opened and my spirit is being set free. Rock on!

Live long and prosper.